I spent my weekend doing Maths. Ya you read that right. Of all the fun things I could have participated in, I had to be bestowed upon the bane of my life; blardy Maths.

It's like the second week of Eid but my family is still very actively visiting our family members. I mean, I love mingling with the family but I get bored of doing that one thing easily. And with this overdose, sometimes I feel like screaming, "Get over it already!!!"

Anyhoo, we had three open houses to go to this weekend and I'm seriously over the whole getting-together thingamagy. But the parents are adamant and sometimes, believe it or not, I can be obliging.

First house we went to: my uncle's. He has two kids who are sitting for their O's this year (yes TWO) and tomorrow is Maths paper one. So the moment I put down the bones to the last piece of devoured honeyed chicken onto my plate, I was confronted with ten-year series waving in my face. And here I thought I had ended my painful affair with Maths.

It's a personal choice really. I'm allergic to numbers. Self-inflicted to the point of innumeracy.

So we sat down on that single bed, all three of us, sprawled in my very uncomfortable kebaya, surrounded by numbers and more numbers.

So obviously I felt like I've been saved by the bell when my dad said it was time to make our move to the next destination, the next house.

But this kidssssss, these cunning very clever kids, with their innocent, pathetic-looking faces, went up to my mother and asked her if they could have me for the day because they are unsure of some stuff, they are scared if they would flunk it yadablah yadablah.

And the mother, being the advocator of education above everything else (she clearly watches too much Oprah!) relented and said I could stay and they would pick me up after their rounds.

Have you ever tried suppressing a crestfallen expression on your face? I have. Today. Lucky I majored in Theatre.

So what proceed after was me trying not to appear so tortured. Honestly, I adore my cousins and I do want them to do well but we are talking Maths on the long haul here. Sigh.

I got to give them some credit though. They are super driven and were fervently practising, not wanting to waste a single second so I like to tease them quite a bit. I would be explaining something midway then abruptly stopped for a sip of water and not continue explaining despite their eager beaver faces staring back at me.

So they would urge me to carry on and I would be like, "I can't" and of course they would ask why. And I just very sadly replied, "I can't teach. There's no ice in my drinks. Can't teach without ice..." And immediately they would scurry from the bed, ready to get me some ice.

Of course I stopped them in their tracks la! What do you take me as huh?! An exploiter of child labour? I'm the one being used here okay! I deserve some goofs and laughs in between.

When my parents came by to pick me up at night, they were all, "Huhhh must you really go? Can't you sleepover tonight?" Thank god I can now use the "I'm-working-tomorrow" card. Even at the gates they were vigorously flipping their revision books yelling "One last question! Last one!"

Me? I feel like I'm recuperating from a battle now.

(11:45 PM)

Couple of days ago, we had a talk about weaknesses and a bunch of really close friends said I am too private. This was after pointing out that I talk hella lot. (I love them so they are allowed to bitch about my flaws. In front of me. Haha!)

The irony. To say so much and still so many things left unsaid.

The former weakness, du'ohhh. I'm totally in the know. The latter, I'm aware for a fact but it's definitely not something I think is so obvious to other people as well. Thing is, I don't like appearing emotionally vulnerable.

Apparently this other girl we know, a mutual friend said as much as she tries she can never truly know me and she's afraid to dig deep. Apparently I give off this vibe that pushes people away and they can't get close enough to me, like I let them know they cannot get too near.

My reply: "Good, they should know."

I mean, I don't necessarily shut them out. I socialise. I know how to work my way and PR. But there will be distance. Not everybody can be your BFFs right..

"Maybe you can be vulnerable sometimes.."

"But I don't want to be."

"But you're only human.."

"I don't want to be human. I want to be super-human."

Laughs ensued.

On a serious note though, maybe, just maybe, one day, someone can penetrate the shield and see me on the flipside. Someone I feel ok to be not ok with. Maybe somebody already have, like my sister. Maybe somebody HAD.

I shall end with this snippet of lyrics. Let's not even go into the artiste. I'll get shot for sure. Ha. And just because this is freaking sappy FYI, I'm not feeling emo ok!

Making sure there's nothing showing on the outside
Something's dying on the inside
I'm still broken but I'm free
I'll see you on the flipside

PS: I got hold of DVDs, "In the Land of Women" (ooohh Seth Cohen!) and "Evan Almighty" (ooohhh Lauren Graham!). Not on loan. Mine for keeps. Through shady means at the workplace that I shall only elaborate via morse code, or when I can subject you to my verbal diarrhoea live.

(12:46 PM)

Punkass. Attitudinal. Oooh I'm a badass-rockstar-look-at-me. Buncha emo Paul Twohills jumping onstage. So manufactured. Extremely skinny jeans. Seriously I.. erm.. pardon the explicity.. dunno how their balls can breathe. And their legs are skinnier than mine lor! Oh the injustice!

All the criticism in the world, all the insults, couldn't unfaze me. It's embarrassing. I'm ashamed. But really. I heart them. Big BIG heart.


And him! Oh Kyle Patrick. So cute for what. I swear, in all shallowness, it's him that made me like them. I don't even give two hoots for post-Kyle Click Five. (and close friends would know Kyle is my favourite boy's name!) I sound like a 15-year-old.


Tomorrow I'll grow up. Tonight I want to swoon over Kyle like a teenager. Tonight I want to be Jenny. Be a good friend. Don't quote me.

Showcase was fun and I had a blast.

Highlight of the night though, dearest lontong friend's car got clamped.

(12:41 AM)

As much as I love chilling out opportunities in the middle of the week, bugger, I'm so sleepy now it's so not funny. I can't even function properly la. Am currently in tanks and flip-flops. And it's not even Friday yet.

So yesterday I had a lunch date with Leonard. And we are still in awe of the fact that we are both working now. And this is the same guy I used to watch Spongebob Squarepants with in the campus library, in between long stretches of last-ditch mugging. Oh how we've "grown"! Muahaha!

Then at night after work, it was Fiza's birthday partayyyyy. The sorority celebrated her 24th over great music, insightful conversation, a smashed Bakerzin cake, seafood platter, a cosmo, a shirley temple, a strawberry magaritta (mine!) and a corona (so badass hor some people! haha!) So fun but so short. Soon girls. Soonest. Two weeks. With new men in the premise. Only if they are men. If they are boys, bring them to those gaming arcades or something. Don't ask me along!

Tonight, I'm heading to the Click Five showcase at MOS. Yayness! Young punks boyband. HA. But, out of pure brilliance, I was convinced it was tomorrow only to be reminded at work today that it's tonight. And then we come back to that flip-flops issue. Great, just great. Pat-on-the-shoulder GREAT.

You know what. Maybe I should get me some shoes during lunch later! OMG. I should go do that. And I have a good excuse too, mind you. This is not frivolous shopping!

(12:36 PM)

After a week, I already realized the very jarring differences between the working styles and ethics of Nat and Emily, both of whom have been in the company for a significantly long enough time.

Nat never leaves the office earlier than the designated time and in fact, stays around a bit longer JUST IN CASE something happens. When she comes in late to work, she'll stay in even longer AFTER work to make up for it. Yes super dedicated, employee-of-month material.

Emily strolls into the office, and half an hour before the time is up, she is already all packed up and ready to fly out of the office just as the clock strikes. When I work with her, she even come up with this little system so each of us can take turns to leave early. We are talking like 3 hours earlier than the written agreement. And she always say, "What could happen really? An earthquake?"

So I work late with Nat and "eat snake" with Emily say if I'm sharing the shift with them. When I'm manning the shift myself, I make sure my work is done and I leave the office right in the middle of the time Nat and Emily would leave. The exact in-between. Yes I did the Maths and all (with the help of a calculator of course).

They also do things very differently. See I went to Emily's school of taught because I was trained by her but the following week I was under the watchful eyes of Nat. So I know. Nat is super detailed and meticulous while Emily makes sure she just do enough. It's not that she slack off, she is just particular about the news we should care about and the news we should not even glance at. And she rationalises her choices and I find that it makes sense. Saves a lot of time also.

So once again, more because I don't want to create a conflict between these two, I just adapt and well, find the happy middle. So Emily thinks I'm doing things her way and Nat thinks I'm doing it hers. Really I'm just balancing the two. And I've been doing this peaceful equilibrium thing for a month now and all is well.

Then, newer than new girl (I'm new girl still see..) came into the picture. Let's call her Holly.

Holly is super nice and sweet just as she is super easily stressed out. The kind of person who looks harassed half the time, brows all scrunched up in a permanent frown at her desk. Seriously. I can feel her built-up tension from where I sit only because she tends to articulate the things she have to do aloud. Yup, she verbalized instructions to herself. It's highly disturbing but I guess different people grasp things in a different way and if this works for her, hey, who am I to judge?

However, as she came to be introduced to the existing discrepancies between the two old birds, she went into a frenzy. A full blown crisis situation that called upon both Nat and Emily to her desk. And hence, THE confrontation occured. The whole "that was how I was taught when I came in" protests were heard as the two battled out their differences. Holly sat even more distressed in the middle.

All this time, between glances at the drama unfolding across the newsroom just so I would not be so out of the loop, I was busy looking at my schedule on the 23rd of October, checking if I could attend the press invite to the "MTV Ask" session featuring the Click Five. Yes the juvenile, poppish, teeny bopper Click Five. And yes, I like them. A lot.

That would be tomorrow. But thanks to Newer than New girl who have brought up this disparity to light, we are going to have an emergency meeting tomorrow with the Boss so we could standardize things once and for all. Plus point, lunch would be paid for and we could order whatever we want. Major minus point, no Click Five. *sulks*

(8:48 PM)

I am going to try to be superbly singlish in this post because somebody from the office just commented that I am ang moh pai. Am not lor!!! I is a xin jia po ren though and though okay! Wah lao ehy. Don't anyhow say hor!

Anyhoo, it's been 5 weeks at this job and I am liking it many much. No kidding. I actually look forward to go to work. I'm actually scared to even voice it out in case other working drones throw rocks at me, one of them being my jie who would never forgive me if I say it in her face that I can't wait to go to work.

Work aspect, going very well. I've been progressively assigned with more responsibilities. And although I've been complaining to my friends alot whenever I have to come in for meetings, I think I secretly quite like it. Okay, the pre- and post- meeting workload is shit la.

First, I got to collect all the lines from the reporters and the section heads and alligned them by pages, making sure there's no negative white space and enough room in the layout. It's a meticulous job and I got to do it fast because once I'm done, I have to ring this bell and shout "MEETING!!!!" across the newsroom so all the section heads would proceed to the board room. It does not help that they never send in their lines on time so I have to like prod them ie. boss them to hand it over.

Then I sit in the meeting and try to be intelligent. Haha. I like this part because then I know what's going to be on tomorrow's paper without having to read it. I feel so learned. Cheap thrill really. Then after the meeting I have to re-do the damn thing because there would be many changes (because editors are annoyingly fickle) and make them all nice and pretty to be sent to the radio station and the tv station under the same company. Shall not mention them here.

So workload is good. Increasingly challenging but still can cope and still have time to email friends, chat on MSN, listen to the radio over the Internet (since the very nice IT guys hook my PC up with some cool ass speakers) and read gossips.

Secondly, there's always free stuff to make my day so even if the day is slow or difficult, I can always look forward to some freebies to make me happy. The Fashion writer always have goodies to distribute because she get so many and we have to chope them quickly. Fastest fingers first. Just today, she sent out an email to all the ladies in the newsroom:

"yeah it's me again ... please email me if you want anything so I can clear some space for my seat and legs and be able to swivel around in my chair once again. :)

Sorry, mostly The Body Shop items today because I just unpacked the rest of the hamper. BUT THE BODY SHOP PRODUCTS ARE MY FAVE!Thanks!

1) Rich Plum Soap - this is a bar of bath soap in very nice purple and gold festive wrapper. Smells so fruity and nice!

2) Cranberry Shimmer Lip Balm - this is the pot kind which you apply with your fingers. It is wine red but has a bit of sparkle and it smells lovely! I use the cranberry body moisturiser and I go around smelling really sweet and yummy!

3) Brush On Shimmer - this is a tub of little copper, pink and golden powder balls which you swipe over with a big brush to give your face a glowy and happy look. Like a blusher of sorts.

4) Rich Plum Home Fragrance - this one is the kind you drip into your burner and make your home smell really festive and fruity! Burn in the office k cos I really love this fruity scent!

5) This one has no name but it's a tiny little pot of white glitter shimmer powder which you shake out and dab on your lips or eyes for an additional disco effect! (Audrey, wear this when we go to MOS so I can find you easily!)

6) Rich Plum Body Butter - this is a really big tub so enjoy!

7) Metallic Eye Liner - this one comes with the special limited edition crinkled gold packaging and this is a liquid eyeliner in GOLD. Will look nice against darker skin tones.

8) Same as 7 but the colour is COPPER.

9) Same as 7 and 8 but the colour here is glittering silver.

10) Ultra Lip Gloss - this one is the sponge applicator kind and the colour is shimmering gold. Will look nice worn over a red lipstick for a 3D effect.

Items 1 to 10 are from The Body Shop's Christmas collection.

11) I also have one silver DKNY tote bag (it's not the dressy kind but just a normal tote with ribbed nylon shoulder straps that have the word DKNY on them.)

12) L'Oreal Professionnel Density Advanced Nutri-Complex Shampoo for thinning hair - just in this afternoon!

13) L'Oreal Professionnel Age Densiforce Omega 6 Shampoo for fine hair - it says that it can increase hair density. Whatever lah.

14) Paul & Joe Pressed Powder Compact - comes in the signature retro pink scalloped plastic compact. Only thing is the shade is a shimmering lilac. I think this is more of a colour corrector than a proper powder. From what I recall, lilac correctors brighten up dull and sallow faces.

15) Ah-ha! Paul & Joe limited edition eyeshadow in this season's green retro floral packaging! This one comes in a cardboard pot and the colour is half shimmering gold-beige and half black. I think the latter is for lining eyes.

Okie that's it for now, better get back to my work. Good luck!"

So fun rightttttt!!!! I tell you, she describes them so well, before we even hold the products in our hands, we are salivating with anticipation! I got the Cranberry Shimmer Lip Balm. Never have I typed my reply back so fast in my entire life!

Along with that I also have discount vouchers for Warehouse, Dorothy Perkins, Adidas and G2000. So now I am damn itchy to shop but that have got to wait. Anyhoo the vouchers expire next year so no need to rush.

We also get free food which means plan to becoming anorexic has once again taken a backseat. For instance, because Christmas is coming, up-market bakeries that sound so French I cannot even pronounce, have been sending log cakes that are so rich and divine, one bite and you feel like you're in heaven kind. They sent a lot and in many variety so there was plenty to go around.

Thirdly, in the people-aspect, very very good. I'm getting to know my colleagues more and the bubble is slowly fading out. People are nice and friendly. Even Emily is showing she's got some heart beneath her attitudinal demeanor.

Ok this is what happened ok. Sorry ah. Story is quite long. Ahem. Sometimes, we like to take some news from an overseas' publication. One time, the foreign desk wanted this story from Russia. So I had to call this country populated with heavily-accented people and seek their permission. Usually most papers would charge for the rights and this one is no different. After they emailed me the official permit and the cost, I forwarded the email to the foreign desk and said as soon as we wire the money over, the article is ours for the taking.

However as luck would have it, the foreign desk printed the article before the money was wired, so of course bo pian, got to pay la. But right, the newsroom manager had to approve first to make sure it's within this month's budget. So when the manager found out, she got damn pissy grumpy bitchy la because she has not okayed it. And I was this close *position index fingers realllyyy close to thumb* to having a panic attack because we are not talking small amount here can!

And suprise suprise, Emily came to my rescue. She asked me if I had saved the email I forwarded and I said yes. She printed it and flashed it to the manager. So I walked away scot-free and the foreign desk had to take the rap. I was still abit squirmish still yunno because it is a sticky situation and I'm the middle person. But Emily later IM me and told me not to worry about it because I had saved my own ass by not deleting my Sent folder. Then only did I start breathing normally again.

The ice queen Emily has melted abit, she is almost human and I am glad. Before I got into the coveted mailing list of the fashion writer, before I put my PR skills to good use when I bumped into her in the loo that is, I was not a part of this very exciting, heart-pumping whirlwind of free products. However, one very fine day, Emily came over and handed me 20% Topshop voucher la! She said I look like the type who would love to shop there, and I even caught a glimpse of a smile on her face! I tell you, I was so happy I almost hug her. Thank god I managed some self-restraint.

She has warmed up to me definitely and I think it has something to do with me not crumbling under the pressure of her purposefully vague instructions and that I'm not entirely the clueless fresh grad. Either that or I'm not the newest girl anymore since this other girl started a week back. She even IM-ed me once saying, "You weren't that slow when you started out. If this girl does not hurry, I'm going to throttle her." She was refering to clearing of press releases.

And lastly, there's this DVD library in our office with like a wide range of movies and concerts and I can borrow as many for free!!!! One of the writers get them on a regular basis for review purposes. So cool ehy. Sometimes I skive a bit and hang out there. They even have the Britney and Kevin DVD lor! I am now holding on to "The Butterfly Effect". No, not because of the word butterfly there la, more for Ashton really.

In conclusion (aren't you tired of reading this already? Cos I am tired of typing it really), I like my job. Really really do. Still hoping to move on to bigger and better things but if I had to stick to something before an opportunity arises, this is the job I don't mind sticking to. Not one bit.

(8:43 PM)

(Sidebar note: I have actually successfully found a studio-quality version of... *drumroll* ...Not As We by Alanis Morissette!!! Yay me. Am I resourceful or what?! Being a geek helps sometimes. Haha! Will put it up as background music here once my ever-so-temperametal web hosting service is up.)

This year, the month of Ramadhan came and is now going so especially quickly. I blame it on work. It takes all your time away and before you know it, today is the last day of fasting. A whole freaking month just flew by.

Tomorrow is Eid. TOMORROW. Holy macaroni. Whoopeedoopz!

I'm happy and thankful that this year I get to spend this holy time with my family and loved ones. It was hard being away last year at a time like this because I come from a tight knit family bound by classic family traditions.

This is not to say though that I don't want to be away again. Hand me that plane ticket anytime and I'll pack my bags and barang-barang at the blink of an eye. Heh. But that's another story for another day.

I'd rather do this next thing personally and not get all techie modern doing it via the cyber space. But it's back to work after this long 3-day weekend (Hahaha! I take tremendous pleasure saying that I'm not working today!!! Press holiday yawl..) so I might not be able to actually to see some people. So...

To all my Muslim friends, brothers and sisters, congratulations for getting past the trying times of Ramadhan. Happy happy happy Eid. I would like to extend my deepest most sincere apologies for all the wrongdoings, abrasiveness and insensitivity that I may have inflicted and hope that you can find it in your hearts to forgive me as I would you. Peace be with you. Selamat Hari Raya!

(5:23 AM)

I was watching the latest episode of HOUSE (that's as far as TV would be mentioned) and there was this beautiful song during one of the scene. I went on a mad hunt for it. I've been searching high and low. You know all you gotta do is type some of the lyrics and see what pops up but seriously I could not find the track at all. Only a link on YouTube.

So finally I accepted the fact that it was the only source of music I could get for this specific song. Turns out it was Alanis Morissette which is one of my favourite singers ever. So I was a tad ashamed I don't know this one. BUT, apparently she hasn't officially recorded it so hence the pathetic search results.

I'm going to slip in a plea in this post. Please please please if anyone out there reading this can find an mp3 (of good audio quality) of the song "Not as We" by Alanis Morissette, please get in touch with me kay? I love, I want, I need. Please? And I'll be your friend for eternity? *puppy eyes*

I was playing the clip on loop only to realized later that everyone else who were checking out the exact same clip were there because of HOUSE. It gives me some sort of satisfaction to know I'm not the only crazy person in this world who would painstakingly attempt to dig out a piece of music after every single show I watched.

Lo and behold, other TV soundtrack freaks (ie. my potential soulmates)...

Lisa479 (3 hours ago)
I heard it on House too and fell in love with it!! This is the only place I can find it...now I keep listening to it! It's sooo beautiful, and it went perfectly with House contemplating the "afterlife"! *dies just thinking about House*

7hewayman (3 hours ago)
omg was an awesome song. goes with the awesome HOUSE. Cant find song any where. new album??

nhatters (3 hours ago)
Here from House as well!

Thebody26 (4 hours ago)
what an amazing song...I can't count how many times I've heard a song on House and then went searching for it :) The music on that show just fits so perfectly...

Had3k (4 hours ago)
Lol, add another House fan.

hereiam517 (6 hours ago)
so house definitely made some fans of this song. i just wish it were easier to find. its so beautiful!

VollVomHass (6 hours ago)
omg it took me forever to find out who did this song lol like everyone i heard it on house lol

LindsaySchultz (8 hours ago)
wow, House and Alanis together, last night was great! Thank you for posting this song!

lullabytes (11 hours ago)
lol i watched house too and tada here i am!

junai06 (12 hours ago)
Totally love this song. Took me forever to find this. And of course, I heard it on House MD as did all the others. It's addictive. Plus it has some of the best music.

ladymacbeth13 (14 hours ago)
Haha. Like so many others, I came looking for this song after watching "House". I absolutely love this song.

ElvenLadyofIthilien (14 hours ago)
I can't believe how many people looked for this song after House, M.D.! Funny! Great song. Thank you, wildtroz for posting.

retrowalkman (15 hours ago)
behold the magic of house? bringing strangers together one unknown song at a time. today's ep was sick, ep two weeks from now looks even sicker.

xxkortni (15 hours ago)
House watcher #__I came online looking for this song. Come on, it's gotta be SOMEWHERE... :(I NEEEEED this song, just like house NEEDS his old team, get rid of the new people! they're ruining the show :(

moonlight1314 (15 hours ago)
House watcher (#not even gonna count) Love this song! I really want it! If anyone finds it, SHARE!!

(5:58 AM)

Okay okayyy, I'm sorry. I told myself I was not to talk about TV shows, at least not here. No need to be displaying absolute no-self-restraint when it comes to TV to the world.

But this time I got to. I can't help it. See this other TV junkie I know, my part-time friend, the one subjected to my opinions and analysis after every episode, is a blardy hufflepuff and is right about now, somewhat buried 3-feet-under with books and notes. Therefore I need an outlet.

I promise though, this will be brief and contains no spoilers. I don't care what the ratings have been saying but I still do love Grey's Anatomy. Of all the shows I've watched since the beginning of Fall, Grey's and Ugly Betty I enjoy the most. Gossip Girl have been piling up, neglected. I can't get pass it. I think I'm over teenage melodrama. O-V-E-R.

Must Grey's be so quotable every episode?! Like seriously. Who's the clever bastard behind the script? He or she needs a pat on the back. And you know who else deserves TWO pats on the back? The fella who insert the music into the show. I mean, without fail, not one, the music matches the scenario happening to perfection, not just the melody, but the lyrics too! How did they make it so appropriate, marvels me. Does this fella have like a huge-ass music library he can access and narrow down by keying the mood desired for the scene?! I am truly amazed.

Fine. Enough. I shall stop and leave you with this quote from episode 2 Season 4 of Grey's Anatomy.

"We see addiction everyday. It's shocking how many kinds of addiction exist. It would be too easy if it was just drugs, booze and cigarettes. I think the hardest part of kicking a habit is wanting to kick it. I mean, we get addicted for a reason right?

Often, too often, things that started off just as part of your normal life, at some point, cross the line to obsessive, compulsive and out-of-control. It's the high we are chasing, the high that makes everything else fade away...

The thing with addiction is, it never ends well. Because eventually, whatever it is that was getting us high, stops feeling good and starts to hurt. Still they say you don't kick the habit until you hit rock bottom. But how do you know when you're there?

Because no matter how badly a thing is ruining us, sometimes letting it go hurts even worse."

ps: So true rightttt. Sigh. Sometimes we just hold onto that one thing despite knowing it doesn't do us any good because at one point, once, however far off in your memory it is, it did feel oh-so-good. On a lighter note, I think I should send Britney this quote. She should hear about it.

(5:53 AM)

A PR company came to know that the four of us handle press releases and decide if they were news-worthy or not. Being the well-trained PR people that they were, they dropped by the newsroom one afternoon to bribe us with coffee from Starbucks. Like proud mothers, they walked to our desks bearing brewing gifts.

Me: Oh I'm fasting.

They apologized profusely and walked on to the next table.

Emily: Oh thanks! *looked down at cup* Actually, I don't take my coffee with milk. It's okay then.. *got on with her work*

They walked away, a little disheartened by the lack of enthusiasm.

Nat: Thank you but I don't really drink coffee, not in the afternoon anyway. Sorry!

Strike three but clearly not giving up.

Jen: Is there sugar in this? Sorry, I can't take sweet stuff.

The poor souls. Flat-out rejected. I feel bad for them I really do! When they left the office and the coast was clear, we broke out into laughter. "Freaking diva la you all!!!" said Emily between chortles.

"Fasting! Fasting does not make me a diva!" I protested, determined to reflect the accusation.

The moment I said that, one of them came marching back in. We stoppped in our tracks, held our breath less we shook with impolite convulsions again. He came to me and asked if I wanted to keep my coffee for later when I can drink in the evening.

Me: Sure! Thank you!! Wait, this is not full-cream right? Oh god, I'm so so so sorry but I only take them skinny, like with skim milk... *sheepish*

That and also the fact that I don't like my coffee stale. I decided not to add salt to the injury and omit that extra piece of information. He left.

"Ha! Coffee snob you!" Emily guffawed somemore as I hung my head low, guilty as charged.

(5:50 AM)

.·´¯`★ mary says: sigh. yayness an hr to home going (she's refering to me, not herself)

me says: yaaa! ooh la la... those mirrors by the side of the road are considered convex or concave?

.·´¯`★ mary says: convex

.·´¯`★ mary says: wider angle marh

me says: ok where do i get one?

. ·´¯`★ mary says: what?

.·´¯`★ mary says: HAHAHAHAHAH

.·´¯`★ mary says: hmmmmmm.

.·´¯`★ mary says: try a spoon

.·´¯`★ mary says: HAHAH the back of a spoon, A REALLY SHINY ONE

me says: moron i cant be sticking a spoon on my monitor!

.·´¯`★ mary says: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

me says: i wanna smack u!

.·´¯`★ mary says: hahahahhaha

.·´¯`★ mary says: ur so funny!

me says: hahaha

I'm funny? YOU are the funny one you goon! I hung out with Mary yesterday before work. It was great. I wouldn't have known Mary if not for the Cambodia trip during freshmen year where we bonded over art, music, colors and our love for quirky fashion.

Then of course she had that horrible food poisoning and the disturbing fact that we fought over the same adorable little boy called Pito. (He's mine Mary! All mine! He sooo loves me more!) Blast from the past ehy hun? Cutest gal everrr! Love you Mary Bern Lee! (yes, low-batt camera and all)

Moving on to less mushy area, I need those mirrors I tell you, I really really do. I got one, the vanity one you get from those hair accessories shop and cunningly plastered it firmly on my monitor. Not. Good. Enough. It doesn't quite cut it. No wonder they call it vanity mirror. The only thing you can see from it is truly just your damn face. Now why would I need to do that?!

I need one that would give me a panoramic view, full coverage so I can be completely aware when somebody is creeping up on me. Because I swear, if the boss comes over to my desk and sees me watching trashy shows like "The Hills" again, he's going to start wondering why in the first place did he hire me for?! I don't think getting fired on my first post-college job would go down too well with my ego.

Please help me keep a lookout for a convex mirror. Happy days in the office depend on it. Well, that along with me keeping the job while being happy in the office of course. Thank you many much.

(5:12 AM)

Amongst many other (important, ahem!) things that I do every morning *laughs*, I also very religiously check out my horoscope. I know, I know. Very juvenile. I can't help it okay! It's my thing. Everyone needs a hobby. Some people collect stamps (all I can think of right now) and some people, well, some people read horoscope. Hmph!

I will read the general one, the one on career ever since I started working and then love, in that specific order. So today I feel like putting it to the test, these readings I mean, and get back here at the end of the day to see if any of it is true or plain bullshit. But do note than even if the results are inclined towards the latter option, this silly girl here will still continue her daily cosmic quest.

The general one reads: You will be content and smiling, no matter where you are or what you do today. You and your family are on especially good terms at the moment -- even if you don't know it! Now is a great time for you to reach out to them and see if you can all come to a new agreement of some kind.

Yay. Sounds good. No being grumpy and moody and cranky. Second part may be right considering the fact that I've been talking to my mum a lot about my job and stuff. Minus her asking me to clean and me muttering my discontent under my breath, of course. Things with dad is good. Sis and me are talking all the time so no problem there.

The career one reads: Sometimes, in a familiar dance, a bit of improvisation opens up the movement and gets both partners laughing. Rather than repeat known steps, try something a bit different. Your partner will respond intuitively.

Partners being colleagues I supposed? Can't they get a little bit more specific here, harlow! Okay so it's basically telling me not to be boring and all routine-liked. Fine. I'll try. *ignores the fact that to "try" is really to fail with honour, or so I've heard*

The love one reads: Now's a great time to plan a mini-reunion. Spending an afternoon around old friends will remind you how much you've grown. Besides, you never know who'll show up. Maybe you'll rekindle that old high school flame.

More planning of reunion? I think I do that on a regular basis, I need no stars to tell me to do that really. Haha. An afternoon? Hey I'm meeting Mary later! Maybe seeing her so childish will make me feel more grown-up in comparison? I'm kidding, I'm kidding!!! Mary you know I love you a lot rightttt? *muacks* And for that last part, I do not want to rekindle any old flame thank you very much. I've already gotten an uninvited, unwelcomed presence in my life as of recent and trust me, no one is lighting up any flicker of flame. Ashes will remain ashes.

(5:21 AM)

I am taking on the night shift ie. to wait for the paper to be ready for print, for two weeks straight. Bye bye life, hello social hiatus. But you know what? It's totally fine. I'm loving the night shift because...

One, I can sleep in and avoid the morning peak hour crowd on the train. Nothing sucks more than standing skin against skin with a smelly person. I mean, if you want to intrude into my personal space, fine, I'll try to deal, but the least decent thing you can do is not stink damnit. I'm not even asking you to smell like a perfume ad. To NOT smell is good enough. Is that too much to ask for?! Do the world a favour and step into the shower please!

Two, I've got time on my hands for a change. Loads of time. Cos by the time I come in, the person doing the morning shift would have cleared most of the news and press releases. I could even read the papers, like really read, not scan the keywords like I used to. I could actually take it all in, process it, have an opinion about it. Nice.

In fact I have so much time, in the span of thirty minutes, I've managed to arrange for a "lunch" meet-up with Mary, choose the very first Chanel bag I want to call my own, say in maybe a few months of working, plan a strategy to get my dad to get it for me for Christmas so I won't have to part with so much of my income, keep on par with the celebrity gossips through all the trashy sites that ever landed onto the world wide web, email the sorority my personal daily digest and wipe down my table and phone with wet tissues (maybe I truly am my mother's daughter!).

Three, I get to break my fast in the director's meeting room where there's a tv that is actually not tuned in to a news or sports channel (suprise, suprise) and have my telly dinner with Nat. Then after we just lounged around, kicked back, watched somemore senseless stuff and have intense discussion about the show.

Four, the remaining time after dinner I can actually consume something so that's refreshing. I had a tea buffet last night because I felt I had to try the many kinds of tea provided in the pantry. Black tea, green tea, white tea, mint tea, oolong tea, strawberry tea (actually, all-kinds-of-fruits tea), camomile tea, lipton tea, earl grey yadablah yadablah. Totally disregarded the subsequent very frequent toilet trips I had to embark on. Haha.

Five, I get to do the TV listing and do anal things like making sure the allignments are correct and balance and neat. I get to pick shows I wish to highlight for the day with a synopsis and pick a screengrab ie. a picture to go along with it. Completely my choice, so I pick shows I like only or shows whose PR team had come by and given us goodie bags. Very biased like that, I know.

Six, I get to take a cab home and be all emo on the ride back late at night, iPod plug in ears. Cost to be claimed. Sweeeet.

(5:43 AM)

"Change. We don't like it. We fear it. But we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. It hurts to grow and anybody who tells you it doesn't, is lying. But here's the truth; Sometimes the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, SOMETIMES, change is good. Sometimes, change is everything."

From episode 1 of the Season 4 premiere of the very quotable tv series, Greys Anatomy. Only because it struck me and only because it's relevant.

(5:33 AM)